Plastic Skeletons Said to Be Echoes of Something Older and Far More Terrifying

THE INTERNET — The night is coming, according to a new episode of the Weird Darkness radio program, and the porch lights will not help. The show, published under the title "HALLOWEEN: 2,000 Years of Heinous History," invites listeners to look past the decorations of October 31st toward something far older.

The program's promotional text holds that every plastic skeleton dangling from a suburban tree, every polyester witch costume in a store window and every glowing carved pumpkin on a doorstep is an echo of something that began long before any living person was born. That something, it says, is older and more terrifying than most people realize.

The description does not say what the older thing is. It offers no names, dates or places, and the precise nature of the heinousness is left to the broadcast itself. The episode is available on Spreaker, and the station's description points readers to a page of sources and references compiled for the show.

This newspaper has not heard the episode and cannot vouch for its contents. Readers wishing to judge the claims for themselves are directed to the sources page the producers have supplied. Meanwhile, the skeletons remain in their trees, and have so far declined to comment.