WILDLIFE WATCH
Hawk Grounded in Virginia Driveway Found 'Too Darn Fat to Fly'
Animal rescuers say the mystery of a stranded raptor was resolved by a simple matter of weight.
VIRGINIA — Animal rescuers in Virginia believe they have solved the case of a hawk found grounded in a resident's driveway, according to a report published by UPI Odd News on November 2.
The bird, the report states, was "too darn fat to fly." That, in brief, was the finding offered by the rescuers who attended the scene.
The source material is a single sentence, and it supplies no further particulars. It does not say who found the hawk, how much the bird weighed, or what became of it afterward. The headline, however, describes the animal as a red-shouldered hawk, as indicated in the web address of the original article.
Readers hoping for a more detailed account of the creature's diet, its recovery or its eventual return to the sky are referred to the original report. This newspaper can confirm only that, by the rescuers' reckoning, the matter was one of girth rather than of mystery.