Vol. I · No. 31 Price: One Tinfoil Hat

“All the News That’s Unfit to Believe”

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Cow Eludes Capture in Marshfield for Full Day as Police Urge Motorists to Stay Alert

Authorities in the Massachusetts town advise drivers to watch the roads for a wandering bovine that has so far evaded all efforts to bring it home.

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Cow Eludes Capture in Marshfield for Full Day as Police Urge Motorists to Stay Alert
Image: UPI Odd News

Police in Marshfield, Massachusetts, are asking motorists to keep a sharp lookout for a cow that, according to a report from UPI Odd News, has been roaming the area freely for an entire day.

The report, published on November 6, describes the animal as "large" and says it has so far eluded capture. The brief account offers no further particulars, and this newspaper has been unable to establish from the source where the animal came from, who owns it, or what direction it was last seen travelling.

The source likewise does not say whether anyone has been hurt, whether any vehicles have been involved, or what methods have been tried in the effort to apprehend the creature. Those questions remain, for the moment, unanswered.

What is clear from the report is the advice of the local police: drivers in the Marshfield area should remain watchful. Readers who find themselves on the roads of that community are encouraged to proceed with caution, and to be prepared for the possibility of an unusually substantial obstacle.

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